Okay- so here's the photo of my full body, jumpsuit, hot pants extravaganza from last week! I told ya'll I was fine! Any who- beware peeps- this could be a long post cause I have things to say!
First off, ladies I need you to self reflect. Are you a high maintenance friend? Do you need more than some of your friends can give you? If you are, and I mean if (so none of you get to make this about you and think "Jess is totally talking about me and she's saying I'm high maintenance" blah blah blah) then maybe you have to give those of us that have to maintain you a bit of a break. I mean we have careers, family, other friends and you kind of wear us out. So could you just chill? Cut us break. Try being the one who listens to the problem instead of always having the problem. Granted I may not share, because let's face it I'm borderline missing those parts, but the ask is nice. So lady to ladies I'm here to tell you- you may be the "high maintenance" friend. You've been warned. As my good friend Beyonce says "let me upgrade ya." You could be replaced if you don't chillax. You'll also save your mutual friends from having to hear about how high maintenance you are and having to validate the low key friend. So it's really a win win for all involved. I must reiterate I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU, so no "You were so talking about me on your blog today" phone calls.
Timeout- this is totally random, but don't buy Kroger brand bacon. It's $2.29 for a reason. It tastes like beef jerky.
Now before I move on to television, I feel the need to touch on a few new trends that I love: the over sized button down vest, the cropped vest and the scarf. Own it, wear it, do it, it's awesome. You too can be a fashionista if you add the right vest or scarf to an outfit. Now I have conditions with the cropped vest. I like it with a plain scoop or v-neck top and a cute pencil skirt not necessarily with a tailored white shirt. I think that looks a little played out and maybe too Talbot's for me (no offense Nicole, think of it as a shout out!) You want to jazz a fall outfit right up- add a scarf. Talk to me about how cute you look- I'll validate you. Now something that I have a question about- and feel free to leave me your thoughts in the comments- is the footless tight. I've seen them at Target and I'm confused. Isn't the footless tight really just a legging masquerading as a tight? I mean I'm all for that especially being so tall and having the tights stop before they hit my crotch issue, but I need to call it what it is. I'm just now delving into the leggings, so I've asked myself footless tight or legging? I vote- they're one in the same. Topping off my list of accessories that I lack but want to try these days is the belt. Apparently this is the 2008 women's mantra as they get ready in the morning: Belt it, belt it, when in doubt-belt it. I mean I've seen belts all over the freakin' place. Now, some of them have been fantastic and added an extra level to an outfit. On the other hand, you don't need a belt for ALL your outfits. If you've worn a belt three times this week, you're doing too much- just saying. If you're doing it right (Razzy)- keep up the good work.
Timeout- the Allen TJ Maxx/Homegoods - one word: Awesome!
Girls and sports- I need to put this out there. You need to know something about sports ladies, preferably football and basketball. It's sexy, men like it, and it's just good sense. If you're out there right now, and you know what I mean by out there, you're going to be a lot less marketable if you don't know anything about sports. Now if you're married or hooked up and your significant other likes sports, then by all means return the favor. It just adds another dimension to your common interests and makes you even hotter. Men like it when their wives and girlfriends can carry on intelligent sports convos with their friends. Don't be the lame wife who can only talk about cooking and sewing or something else equally gay. Be mad if you want to, but I'm trying to help YOU out. I digress.
Last thing I promise- I'm out on Desperate Housewives. Out, 100% out. I can't do ugly Eva Longoria and hot Terry Hatcher or "I can't feel my face" Marcia Cross. I'm out. I have, however, been reminded of the Starter Wife (thank you JC). I watched it last year, and it was one of my fave shows. Debra Messing and the little unknown black girl from Dreamgirls are really good in it. If you can stomach all the Ponds Cold Cream shameless advertising and product placement, it's really a good show. It's on USA- get familiar. Now it's come to my attention that some people (in 2008) don't have cable at home. Really? Well I'll be the one to tell you since clearly no one else has- you're doing a disservice, a great disservice to yourself, your friends and those co-workers who attempt to have something in common with you. So get cable, Geez.
Any who, it's been eventful lately, but until next time, it's just another day in the life.
