There May Just Be Light at the End of this Tunnel

Thank you all again so much for your thoughts, prayers, emails, cards, flowers and texts. They have been a tremendous help and have carried us through these days. My husband says he's never been more proud of anyone, and I told him that I have been so strong because there are people praying for and thinking of us from all over the nation. I've truly felt every prayer and sincerely thank each one of you.

Today has probably been the toughest of all of my days so far. Just as fast as my baby was here, he was gone. Many people have said many things to me, but nothing gives me more comfort than knowing that some day I'll see Noah in heaven and he'll recognize me. He's now in a place where he can run, see, hear and do the work of the Lord- things he never would have experienced on earth. I imagine that God has some work for him to do, and he's busy getting his assignments.

The surgery went well- that sounds funny to say and makes me so sad, but the positive of all of this is that Ant and I will be able to try again soon. I told him maybe we'd do IVF this time and have 6 babies at once. I'm hurting now and probably delirious. I'll watch one episode of Jon and Kate Plus 8 and quickly change my mind I'm sure. We're going to leave for Europe on Saturday and attempt to have a good time. I hope we can start the healing process and start looking forward to a brighter future.

Again, I can't thank everyone enough. Thank you for sharing your stories and your lives with us. I wouldn't want this path for anyone in the world, but this is now my story. I've come full circle today. I started this journey of wanting to start a family about 8 months ago, and generally after you've done the pregnancy thing you get to do the mommy thing. That wasn't the case for me this time, but I'm determined not to let my story end here. If at first you don't succeed, try try again. And try again we will. I'm disappointed, exhausted, in pain yet at peace. So no worries everyone- I will persevere. We will persevere.

On a more amusing note to you ladies, I do have about 10 pounds to loose pretty quickly, so maybe we'll pray about that next huh? I love you all and I thank you for being here.

Until next time, it's just another day in the life.